I Guess He Wanted it His Way

12Aug08

In sharp contrast to the seriousness of my previous post, we have a hillarious yet frightening (yes, hillarious- never take life too seriously) situation out of Dayton, Ohio.  Some loser who calls himself “Mr. Unstable” decided to take a bath.  Now that’s not to say that bathing is necessarily a bad thing, but when said loser decides to cleanse himself in the sink of his place of employment, and that sink happens to be in the kitchen of a Burger King establishment I think its safe to say we’ve progressed beyond just a bad thing.

Anyone that knows me understands that I don’t believe in the whole “we came from nothing” theory.  Whatever label gets slapped on it doesn’t matter.  Order never derrives from chaos, so whether its called the Big Bang theory, or Evolution – whatever – it doesn’t fly with me.  Besides, no rational person, having observed all of the evidence around them, could conclude that the human race descended from nothing and is spiraling towards nowhere; that’s just a tad depressing as well.

But this guy, this Mr. Unstable, boy does he make me almost want to believe that.  Because then I could draw a parallel between his activity and the classic Darwin Award mentality.  For those of you not yet familiar with the Darwin Award, its a pretty simple concept.  It basically says that when idiocy meets opportunity, death can, and often does, occur.  Kind of like flirting with a train and losing.  For example, “He won a Darwin Award for racing the train- and coming in second.”

See, if I did believe in Darwanism, I could just point out how this goober is demonstrating that the Darwin Awards has crossed over, aided by technology (read: YouTube) into the realm of personal reputation.  But I digress.  Perhaps there isn’t anything that complex at work. Maybe as humans we’re just relegated to a series of unavoidable, embarassing, and ultimately destructive mistakes. 

People ask me from time to time if I’d like to go back and have the opportunity to re-live my teens and twenties again.  When I think about mistakes like Mr. Unstable made, I am flooded with a sense of acute relief.  Go back and do it again?  Never!  I’m just happy I made it out alive with enough of my reputation intact to have a decent life.

I predict that Mr. Unstable is not an isolated case.  He’s just one of the very first ones that’s been caught.  If I were you, I’d try not to think about that the next time you go out for a quick bite.

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